Ranking The Left Coast

With recent successes and big off season moves, east coast teams like the Mets, Red Sox, Yankees, and Phillies continue to be darlings of the media when it comes to press coverage, nationally televised games, and SportsCenter highlights. But there’s 26 other teams in MLB, and some of the best reside on the west coast. Though we’ll be doing pre-season divisional analysis here at thewestbias.com in the coming weeks, here’s a quick ranking of the teams on the west coast.

1. The Los Angeles Angles of Anaheim, Pomona, Laguna Beach and western Riverside County. I didn’t make that up, the Angels are expanding their hostile takeover beyond the friendly streets of Anaheim. Season ticket holders can vouch for me.

The Angels are the team to beat in the AL West. Did they overpay for Tori Hunter? Of course, but at least they didn’t overpay for Juan Pierre. Their starting staff is solid with Jon Garland, Kelvim “Don’t call me Pablo” Escobar, John Lackey, and Jared “Call me Jeff and I’ll kill you’re first born” Weaver.

Offensively, they should be fine, though with the addition of Hunter, they have a surplus of outfielders. Since Garret Anderson is old and past his prime, the Giants will probably trade for him and sign him to a long term extension.

2. The Los Angeles Dodgers. I had a dream the other night that the Dodgers traded Juan Pierre for a bag of granola. Unfortunately it was only a dream.

If Juan Pierre would miraculously disappear, the Dodgers are the best team in the National League. Bold statement, I know, but L.A. already has three solid outfielders in Andruw Jones, Andre Ethier, and future MVP Matt Kemp. The problem is, Pierre is in the second year of a 5 year/$44 million contract which makes him virtually untradable and a tough pill to swallow for Dodger management if Torre sits him on the bench.

The complaints about Pierre are well-known: he doesn’t walk, can’t hit, throws like a girl, and drops a lot of fly balls. Other than that he was a steal for $44 million. The DailyNews mentioned he has an incredible work ethic and is a really nice guy. So is my gardener, but I don’t want him playing left field for the Dodgers either.

3. San Diego Padres. The Padres, like the Dodgers, could be very dangerous in the crowded NL West. But just like L.A., they have a lot of question marks. The signing of Mark Prior, Randy Wolf, and Jim Edmonds could payoff big if they stay healthy. But that’s a big if since in recent years they’ve all been about as healthy as an asthmatic child with polio.

What the Pads definitely have going for them are rising stars Adrian Gonzales, Kevin Kouzmanoff, and Khalil Greene--as well as consistent arms Chris Young, Greg Maddux, and the best pitcher in baseball not named Johan, Jake Peavy.

4. Seattle Mariners: On paper, Seattle should compete with the Angels. A year ago they had the 10th ranked pitching staff in the AL and that should greatly improve with the off-season pick-ups of Erik Bedard and Carlos Silva. Plus, Jeff Weaver won’t be throwing batting practice to opposing teams anymore. Offensively, they didn’t improve themselves this Winter, but if Richie Sexson can hit his weight…well, he’d still be only be hitting .237. But that’s 32 points higher than last year and he should regain his power stroke this season.

5. Oakland A’s: Billy Beane gets more bang for his buck than any other GM out there—and I’m not just talking about the ho’s in the 510. But, as with last year, the A’s are still in rebuilding mode which they hope to turn into full-on domination mode by the time their new stadium is built.

If Rich Harden stays off the DL, they have a pretty good one-two punch in him and Joe Blanton, but after that it’s slim pickin’s. I hear Jeff Weaver is still available. My guess is they’ll trade Blanton by mid-season for a couple of good prospects and continue the rebuilding process.

As usual the A’s picked up a couple former all-stars from the scrapheap for dirt cheap—Mike Sweeney and Keith Foulke. Hey, it worked with Frank Thomas. But unless Billy Beane pulls A-Rod from his ass, the A’s will be lucky to win 75 games this season.

6. Marin County Little League All-Stars: These guys are stacked with some of the best 12 year olds in the state. I wouldn’t be surprised if they made it all the way to Williamsport.

7. San Francisco Giants: It’s going to be a long season in city by the bay. Anyone who disagrees is most likely intoxicated.

Aaron Rowand, who was the fifth offensive option in Philly, will be the lone bright spot in the otherwise abysmal offensive vortex of mediocrity. Unless, of course, you think aging veterans Dave Roberts, Rich Aurilia, Randy Winn, and Omar Vizquel are all due for career seasons. And if you believe that, I say have another drink, my friend.

The good news for Giants fans is they have two of the most promising starting pitchers in the league with Matt Cain and Tim Lincecum. Throw in Barry Zito, Noah Lowry, and Kevin Correia and you have a pretty good starting staff. But because of their anemic offense, bullpen from hell, and an incredibly tough NL West, the Giants could have triple digits in the L column by season’s end. .

If you’re anything like me, your name is Matt Toomey and you just bought the domain name http://www.tradejuanpierreforabagofgranola.com/ (and .org)